First Birthday
by Nym13
Summary: Hermione finds Harry in an unlikely place on his eighteenth birthday. R&R- first birthday fic.


**AN: Okay guys! This is my birthday gift for Harmony shippers. I always wanted to write birthday fics so I hope I did it right with this one.**

**Announcement you guys can finally add me. I have made an FB account already this is the link:**

** www. facebook zeze. zink (remove spaces)-to those who wants to add me just feel free to do so! Thank you.**

**Disclaimer: Don't Own Harry Potter.**

**Warning: Implied H/Hr.**

XXX

_Just another year passing…_

_Just another cycle of falling leaves and changing colors._

_Just another year of growing..._

_Just another birthday, a sign of living, of living without you._

XXX

_Hermione's P.O.V._

I hastily search for my blue knitted sweater and wore it over my shirt, as I was tying my shoe laces I glance upon the Polaroid camera my parents have bought me. It somehow made me smile, I have never gotten a chance to use it, I have been waiting for this day to finally test it out. I quickly grabbed it and deposited it inside my trusted beaded bag, before walking out of my room, my parents are in the living area reading news papers and drinking coffee.

"I'm leaving now mum and dad!" I was just about to go down the hall and out our door when my dad called me.

"Hey, take care alright, and tell that Weasley boy to keep his hands to himself." My dad sternly reminded me and I rolled my eyes, Ron and I have been dating for a few months now and my father hasn't failed to tell me just how much he disapproves of our relationship.

"He's my boyfriend dad."

"I'll never know why." My father remarked haughtily and I sighed.

"Really, I know he has horrid table manners and often times unmotivated, lazy and a little dimwitted but he's a really great guy. He's kind hearted, and he makes me laugh. Besides, he's my best friend too."

"Well, we're just wondering, why you didn't fall for your other best friend." My mother voiced out, but I noticed her tone was more playful than condescending as was my father's tone. Really, my parents seemed to have taken a great liking to Harry when he accompanied me to retrieve them in Australia, not only that, it seems as though my childhood admiration for him have given them the impression that I fancied Harry, not to mention I always did complain about Ron when we were younger that it might be my fault too why my parents think so little of him.

"Such are questions you two will forever ask. I'm off." I told them grinning slightly. I decided to walk for awhile, as it was still early and apparating had somehow tired me. Even though I have done it quite a few times already, it still makes me dizzy and nauseous after each trip.

As I walked down the busy streets of London I spot a small dainty cakes and tea shop of cream colored walls and pastel accents. It gave off a homey and inviting aura and sent out an intoxicating heavenly aroma of freshly baked breads, melted sugar and splashes of cinnamon and vanilla. I went inside the shop and gaze at the pastries on display. And there in a glass case was a beautiful chocolate birthday cupcake with pink frostings and colorful sprinklers and candies. I hastily paid for it and brought it with me. I knew with Harry and Ron there was never such a thing as having too many dessert servings and I felt good that I carried such a beautiful treat with me.

XXX

When I arrived at the Burrow I was surprised at the somber like feel engulfing the premises. Don't get me wrong, the Burrow itself was lovely as the party decorations were already up, and the food was overflowing and wafting the place making all of us quite hungry, and gifts were all piled up in a corner too. But the people inside wore worried expressions on their face, and I note that sad and troubled faces were pictures I didn't wish to take.

"Hermione, Harry's not here yet, and Ron already told him to come here as we're having a small party for him, do you think he found out it's actually a big party and he bailed out, I mean he never liked large crowds and-" Ginny, my friend and Harry's girlfriend had worriedly told me and I could clearly see the doubt on her face mingled with discomfort and I sighed.

"Harry will be here." I reassured her; she gave me a look of distrust but seemed to have accepted my words of comfort too.

"But just in case, I'll go look for him and you lot should stay here, so when he arrives you'll be able to greet him."

I slowly walked out after convincing Ron that I was looking for our best friend alone, after all the Weasleys have prepared a special birthday song for Harry and it wouldn't be a good presentation if Ron was missing, besides, Harry could come any moment now. That was what I told them all.

But…

It seems to me that I have known all along that he wouldn't be here. Harry, he's never been predictable, even professor Trelawney had a hard time predicting his future. I guess I've known he wouldn't come here first, after all…

Birthdays are spent with one's family…and even though it seems like it…

The Weasleys aren't Harry's family.

XXX

Eighteen, I estimate that's how many steps I have to take to get to him. He's there just a few paces from me, his back is all I see, him sitting down on the grass that's too dull when matched against his emerald irises, him with his slightly slouched figure that's far too relax to ever seem painful. And him with an expression of unmasked sadness, with quivering brows that shows signs of an eternal battle with himself, himself who I know to be his greatest enemy, a foe he never seemed to defeat, no one could defeat him, not Voldemort, not I, and certainly not himself.

Eighteen, I estimate that's the count of wax candles being lighted and slowly burning away. But that seems like a memory an afterthought, and in this place it's just him and me, with eighteen steps of air between us.

One...I take the first step.

He notices that's someone's here, I know he does, he always does, but he doesn't stir, he knows it's me and that I always stay, just like I know he's always constant in my life, and that nothing could change that. So I took a seat beside him.

"You know, this is the second time you snub a cake Ginny and I prepared, are you that scared of my cooking?" I told him jokingly, and he gives me a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. I'm slightly hurt by this as I'm reminded of the fact that I've never been the joker, never been _'fun'_, that I've never made him laugh when I'm around, not like he does with the Weasleys. And he's always love laughter, and that's something I cannot give him, though I tried, I did, and he'll never know that I do.

"Are you disappointed in me? I know you worked so hard on my surprise party and I didn't show." Harry now looks at me, and he's flashing me that shy smile of his that reminds me of our younger days, of the scrawny boy I barely knew, of innocence. And this time I smile too.

"It's not much of a surprise, you already knew, everyone just played along. How are you feeling?"

"I don't know. It feels like it always does, just another birthday you know. Do you reckon I shouldn't feel this way? I have much to celebrate, or so they say." Harry tells me thoughtfully and I breathe a sigh, truly it's always been my job to make him understand his feelings and make him feel less badly about himself, I suspect he has always hated himself more than anyone else.

"No one can tell you what to feel, you do have a lot to be thankful for but, there are moments like these, it's alright if you just don't feel like celebrating."

"You're right; it's just that, with the war finally over I realized that I've never spent my birthday with my parents. You know, I never had a picture with them. I don't remember much, or know much about them aside from what people tell me, but I...I know I love them. I guess, I just want to spend what feels like my first birthday with them, do I make sense?" He asks me rather uncertainly, I always notice this with Harry, sometimes when he talks about his feelings with me he seems to wear this expression of uncertainty, that's he's afraid of what I may think of him, that I can't understand him or that I'll think less of him, after all this time, it astounds me how he never grasp the concept of just how high I've placed him on a pedestal.

"Yes, you do. Should I leave; I'm not intruding in this family reunion, am I?"

"No it's fine, this place, it's like a place just for us, like some sort of a secret base." He told me then grinning and I can't help but feel quite excited and giddy, this was a first for me.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean, we were here just last Christmas and you've met them then. I guess I haven't really properly introduced you to them." He told m blushing them and I found it cute, and then I remembered...

"Are you sure you want to introduce me now? We seem to be missing someone, should I get Ron..."

"No, it's alright, I know this may sound mean but, this place it's just ours, something you and I shared because he...because Ron walked out." I see Harry now looking quite ashamed, he's right though. Even though the three of us are still best friends and we are sure nothing will ever break us apart again, I know the pain of being abandoned by a best friend during one's hardest times hurts, hurts so much that it's a wound that aches like a bruise that never leaves. The mood had gone somber once more. I needed to do something. I nudged my knees against Harry's and he jerks slightly and looks at me and I smile at him. I slowly open my beaded bag and take out a small white box held by a blue string and placed it on the grass, just in front of us.

"Go on...open it!" I tell him excitedly and he smiles at me quite amused. He unties the strings and the lid sprang up revealing a beautiful chocolate cupcake surrounded by a generous amount of pink frostings and sprinkled with candies.

"What's a birthday without a cake...and a candle?" I told him as I fished out a blue candle from my bag. His cake at the Burrow was big and had eighteen candles that signified the full life he has been living for the past eighteen years. But this, just right at this moments, with it just me being with Harry and celebrating his birthday with his parents, this genuine moment of innocence, purity and a new beginning, was a first, greatly symbolized by his lone birthday candle perched daintily on his miniature cake. And when I glanced at him, he smiles, a great smile that sends light in his green eyes, the glimmer in them putting the luster in emerald jewels to shame, that's how beautiful they were.

"My parents, they like you, they like you more than they like Ron, and they're glad you're my best friend." Harry tells me then. And this time I found myself blushing just because he sounded so hopelessly truthful. I wonder if he knows just how much those words meant to me, how much his words have control over me. He'll be surprised if he knew I'm almost as bad as his obsessive fangirls.

"Oh? Did they tell you that?"

"Yes, they whispered it in my ear just now." He told me jokingly.

"Well, I'm glad Ron isn't here to hear that." I told him and this time he looks away, almost as if a grey cloud has completely settled beside him. I fished out the camera from my bag and I poked him slightly and his eyes widened when he sees my muggle Polaroid camera.

"You have one of those?"

"Yes, I do, I kind of regret not carrying one while we were in school. I don't really have many pictures of us. I guess if I had one, I'd have a myriad of pictures of you and Ron." Harry laughs.

"Yeah, as if I don't have pictures scattered everywhere since I was eleven."

"Well, those pictures are for the public, it's the image they see of you, an image you let them see of you. But you and I, we have a personal connection and my photos of you would definitely be private." Harry gives me a sad smile.

"Will you take a photo of me and my parents?" he asks me and I can feel my heart breaking and the steady shaking of my hands.

"Yes, of course." I raise the lenses to my eyes and I slowly adjust it to allow the light to come in. Through the small window I can see Harry's almost sad smile. I don't even count to three, for there's just one, just him, and he knows this…

_Click!_

And the photo comes out, clean, then misty, slowly blurring and finally the image is seen. Harry in his red polo shirt and cargo pants, with his still untamable hair, bright green eyes hidden behind round spectacles, and he's sitting on the patch of grass and behind him is the tombstone of his parents. He scoots closer and peers at the small photo in my hands.

"Can I have that?" He asks me and I shake my head.

"No, not yet, I'll put it on a frame and then give it to you." I tell him and he nods his head slowly, although what I told him is true it's also a lie. It's just that I can't bear to give him such a sad photo, a photo that I know will manage to make him cry, and he will cry, and I don't want him to cry now, not today, not on his birthday. I want to give him this day, just laughter and joy on his birthday, no tears. Seventeen birthdays with him crying is already enough.

Harry nods his head and a smile. I guess overtime he has grown to fully trust me and he's no longer as stubborn as before.

"Do you think birthday candles grant wishes?"

"Yes, I think they do. On your first birthday I'm sure your parents wished that you'd be safe, that you'd live even if they were to die, that came true didn't it?"

"What if I wish to undo the past?"

"Then birthday wishes can't grant that wish. You see, wishes are like dreams and hopes, and they're always meant for the future and never for the past."

"Yes, you are right. I guess I'll have to make another wish then..." Harry told me as he leant down and blew the candle out. He then broke the cupcake into half and had given me the other, and from the corner of my eyes I can see him eating it quite happily, but I was greatly troubled and curious of what he has said.

"What did you wish for?" I ask him and he grins at me cheekily almost teasingly.

"You know, I mustn't tell or it'll never come true." Silly little boy, but it's his birthday so I'll let him be.

"Alright then, what were you going to wish for, you know, what would you have wished to undo in the past?" He looks at me sadly then and I almost regret it, I suspect it has something to do with his _'saving-people-thing'_.

"It doesn't matter now; it's all in the past." He gives me a sad smile before finishing the rest of his cupcake and for a while we were quiet. Until he stood up and dusted the grass stains matted against his trousers before offering me hand. I gratefully took it and allowed him to pull me up.

"We should leave now, I can tell Ginny might be fuming and wondering why we're missing." Harry tells me almost regretfully as if he really didn't want to leave.

"Yes, Ron might be worried as well." I whispered. And I noticed that he still hasn't moved that he was still holding my hand, and I noticed I was barely breathing and that I'm too aware of the fact that I wanted to prolong this, to savor this moment of me actually feeling wanted by Harry, of me finally being noticed by him, for in this moment he has shown me more importance; the kind of attention he's always given Ron, and this for me was a first. In some way this was a wish of mine that he has granted on his birthday.

"We should make this a tradition, we should go here together every year for my birthday, just the two of us, if that's alright...I mean, we can visit with Ron too, I figure my parents need to meet him but just not on my birthdays or on Christmas, because I want these dates to remain ours. If that's alright with you." I know for a fact that blood had rushed to my cheeks and like wild fire it has spread its warmth within me; just pure, warm and happy feelings that sent tingles down my spine. That's what I felt when he told me this and I'm starting to understand why I do…

"Yes, of course." And he smiles at me before enclosing me in a hug which I retuned happily. I can feel him turning his head, his cheek almost resting on the crook of my neck, and his breath hot against my ear, and he whispered slowly...

"You know, mum would have loved you, you both are so alike." He tells me and I find myself snuggling closer to him, a smile painted on my lips.

And I know right at that moment my life had just change.

Because Harry just gave me the greatest compliment of my life. For a girl to hear being told by the man she loves that his mother would love her in such a genuine way was so gratifying...but...

He's not mine, not yet...and this moment is something we share, but this love, this devotion I have for him is mine, just mine, and mine alone.

But it's alright.

Because there's always love between us, it's always there no matter what form it might take, and it'll always remain.

For me it's always been Harry and Hermione, there could never be a _'me'_ without _'him'_ and nothing will ever change that.

Harry will always have Hermione, will always have my love.

_**Always.**_

XXX

_Just another year passing..._

_Just another cycle of falling leaves and changing colors._

_Just another year of growing..._

_Just another birthday, a sign of living, of living without you._

_But that's alright because the best part of growing old…_

_Is finally learning and realizing someone has always been there beside you._

_Someone you can keep forever and for Always._

XXX

**AN: So how was this fic? Was this alright? For me the plot was really just shallow, and I'm pressed for time and I just really wanted to make a fic for Harry's Birthday…So any thoughts.**

**Also, I think it's really heartbreaking for orphans to take photos beside their parents graves (especially orphans who've never met their parents) just so they'd have a picture with their parents. Imagine…ugh! It hurts…so sad for Harry…**

**Anyway…review!**


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